Tuesday, June 5, 2007

IT'S LIKE BIRTH CONTROL FOR $8.50!


OK, so let's be serious for a moment. "Knocked Up" is pretty much the most unrealistic movie of the summer. In my humble opinion, it's far more likely that you'd see a couple of ogres and a donkey chatting it up in a swamp than a rising entertainment journalist risk scrapping her career for a ten-pound red-faced screaming blob, drunkenly conceived with the sperm of a complete stranger.

Don't have health insurance? Don't feel like spending a few bucks on condoms? Then I strongly encourage you all to go see "Knocked Up" - the nation's newest and most effective form of birth control! Once you witness the vag shot (twice!!!!) during the birth scene, you'll swear off sex for days!

Friday, June 1, 2007

The Best Season Finales of 2007

Now that we've had sufficient time to digest all of the great Season Finales of this year, it's time to reflect on the really REALLY good ones.

5) ER
Stamos, Stamos, Stamos. You god-like practitioner of television medicine. You may have lost your girlfriend and your sort-of-but-not-really daughter, but you haven't lost your rugged good looks or your rock-star, badass charm.

4) Grey's Anatomy
OK, so the finale wasn't actually that great but this episode gets kudos for one solid reason: Sandra Oh's screaming fit, sans eyebrows. Hott.

3) Friday Night Lights
Despite my bias for this show, the season finale was killer. Tami is preggers! This should surely trick my friend Mark, who has a thing for hot moms, into watching next season! And raise your hand if you cried at the end when adorable little Matt Saracen started clapping for Coach Taylor!....!...?...just me???

2) LOST
Charlie died, but a series was resurrected. Way to take one for the team, Charlie! And CHELLO - a flash-forward? Genius! My friend Matt even made us a case of Dharma Initiative Beer - you can do it too if you have too much time on your hands like we do! Check it out at http://www.lostblog.net/lost/tv/show/create-your-own-dharma-initiative-rations




1) The Bachelor
Watching that chunk-o-hunk Andy dump that bitch Bevin was wholly satisfying. Seriously. Bevin was a whiny little beyotch and Tessa is a Golden Queen.